Irvin Accuses Barker of Quitting
Upon hearing news that Bob Barker is retiring from television after 50 years, 35 of which he has spent hosting The Price Is Right, ESPN analyst Michael Irvin lashed out at the long-time television personality in a drug-fueled tirade. Irvin called Barker "selfish for quitting" and said that what Barker was doing was "tantamount to quitting on the show, implying that Barker should be ashamed for himself.
"He [Barker] can call it whatever he wants," Irvin said too loudly while sniffing repeatedly and wiping his nose every two to three seconds. "He and I both know what he's really doing. He's quitting on the show and he's quitting on all the people who are involved in the show. Right now, The Price is Right is in the top 5 for most-watched daytime television shows, but what happens when he leaves? It's like he doesn't even care about that."
After being told that Barker says he still considers himself as a father and sometimes lover to the Barker Beauties, Irvin found his second wind to further criticize the 82-year-old game show host. "Don't give me that father crap," Irvin stated. "Real fathers don't leave their children without warning. Oh, it won't affect the Beauties who have been there for a while, but what about the new ones? How can he give them advice anymore? He's just another guy on his way out to them."
The venom Irvin spat Barker's way is no doubt a reflection of the end of Irvin's end to his playing days, which was brought about as a result of an injury, and causes him to become indignant at the thought of anyone who gets to choose when to end his or her career.
Tom Jackson, because he is black like Irvin, had no choice to agree with Irvin and so he did saying that mistakes in the production of the game show were sure to occur as a result of this distraction.
Bob Barker released in a statement that he is looking forward to embarking on the next phase of his life, probably some sort of dying.
"He [Barker] can call it whatever he wants," Irvin said too loudly while sniffing repeatedly and wiping his nose every two to three seconds. "He and I both know what he's really doing. He's quitting on the show and he's quitting on all the people who are involved in the show. Right now, The Price is Right is in the top 5 for most-watched daytime television shows, but what happens when he leaves? It's like he doesn't even care about that."
After being told that Barker says he still considers himself as a father and sometimes lover to the Barker Beauties, Irvin found his second wind to further criticize the 82-year-old game show host. "Don't give me that father crap," Irvin stated. "Real fathers don't leave their children without warning. Oh, it won't affect the Beauties who have been there for a while, but what about the new ones? How can he give them advice anymore? He's just another guy on his way out to them."
The venom Irvin spat Barker's way is no doubt a reflection of the end of Irvin's end to his playing days, which was brought about as a result of an injury, and causes him to become indignant at the thought of anyone who gets to choose when to end his or her career.
Tom Jackson, because he is black like Irvin, had no choice to agree with Irvin and so he did saying that mistakes in the production of the game show were sure to occur as a result of this distraction.
Bob Barker released in a statement that he is looking forward to embarking on the next phase of his life, probably some sort of dying.
Labels: Satire
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