And Starring Peter King As "The Idiot"

You know what time it is.

I've always thought that one of the few things baseball had over football was its 162-game schedule.

I sincerely hope this is not a subtle hint for the NFL to increase the number of games it has in its schedule. If that is the point of this sentence, Peter, then you are becoming more of an idiot every day.

A shortened schedule is one of the things football has over baseball because it makes every football game at least ten times more important than any regular-season baseball game. More importance equals more television viewers which equals more money for the NFL.

3) Did you know it costs $77 to fill the tank of the land-yacht Ford Expedition?

No, I did not nor do I really give a shit. Write about football, Peter. Your pen name is the Monday Morning Quarterback, not the Monday Morning Philosopher or the Monday Morning Leadoff Hitter or the Monday Morning Gas Pricer.

Why can't you take a similar summer trip in the NFL?

Here's why. You can't take a similar summer trip in the NFL because you are not in the midst of an NFL season like you are when you take a summer trip around MLB parks. Instead, in the NFL summer, you have training camps where the rosters have not yet been finalized, no preseason games have been played, and some of the game's stars are not even practicing.

You can.

No, you can't, but go ahead and try.

I think the key to this team is not whether McNabb can find Mr. Right at wide receiver but whether he can rely on Brian Westbrook to stay healthy for four months. And get a good look at Ryan Moats, whom Andy Reid drafted in 2005 to be the next Westbrook.

So what you're saying here is, it doesn't really matter whether Westbrook stays healthy because the Eagles have a running back who can produce in the same way as Westbrook, right?

You might want to have a videocam handy for John Madden's address. It might be memorable.

Then again, it is more likely to be the sort of rambling senility everyone has come to expect from the mouth of John Madden.

1. I think Daunte Culpepper looks very much like he'll be ready for opening day. At least he looked like that at Miami minicamp over the weekend.

You inferred that from Culpepper throwing the ball in gym shorts with no real rush and no one trying to take his head off while he has to make reads and deliver the ball in the right place? Ooooooookay.

c. Come back, Albert Pujols. I am begging.

He's injured, Peter. He didn't retire. Get off your knees, take your head from between Pujols' legs, and stop begging. You look ridiculous down there.

e. Happy Father's Day to all. Especially you, Tony Dungy. Have a good week.

Yeah, Tony, I really hope you enjoy your first Father's Day since your son, James, committed suicide. I'm sure it will be a blast.