best counter

Your Ad Here
Just The Sports: This Isn't Even Funny Anymore

Just The Sports

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

This Isn't Even Funny Anymore

No, really, it's not. No wonder the Hall of Fame is such a joke when you have voters like Peter King.

Ain't so. I'm a fan of no football team. You may be interested to know that I am going to rethink my position on Monk this year. I don't want to be so stuck in the mud on this issue that I close my mind to the possibility that I'm wrong and that Monk really does belong. So I'm going to sit down with Joe Gibbs when I see the Redskins this summer and try to soak in what the Monk side believes I am missing. A lot of people I respect tell me I'm dead wrong on Monk -- Len Shapiro, Mike Wilbon among them, plus quieter ones with close ties to the Hall. So I'll rethink my position and let you know what I come up with.

Congratulations, Peter. You have just flushed the last vestiges of your journalistic credibility, integrity, and acumen right down the toilet. You were picked as one of the 39 voters for the Pro Football Hall of Fame because of your supposed knowledge of the game, and you mean to tell me you are going to talk to the former head coach of an eligible player to decide if he should vote for his enshrinement or not. Does the phrase conflict of interest mean nothing to you? Do you really think the former head coach of a player is going to be unbiased in the matter? And more importantly, what can he possibly tell you that you don't already know? Actually, I can picture the scenario right now...

(Scene: Joe Gibbs seated at his desk with an Art Monk stat sheet in front of him, furiously erasing and scribbling in numbers. Phone buzzes.)

Assistant: Peter King is here to see you, Mr. Gibbs.

Joe Gibbs: Send him in.

(Joe Gibbs blows on the piece of paper and smooths out the crinkles. Enter Peter drinking Starbucks coffee or green tea or whatever the fuck it is he's drinking and writing about these days.)

Peter King: Hey, Joe.

JG: Hey, Peter, how's it going?

(They shake hands.)

PK: Joe, the reason I came over today was to talk about Art Monk. You know, I'm on the Hall of Fame voting committee and I wanted to hear from you, an objective observer of Monk's career, why I should vote for him.

JG: I thought you might drop by so I took the liberty of preparing this for you.

(Joe Gibbs slides the stat sheet over to Peter.)

PK: What is this?

JG: It's a list of Art's stats we "uncovered" recently.

(Peter looks over the stat sheet and glances up in disbelief.)

PK: These can't be right.

JG: I assure you. They are all accurate and correct.

PK: But this sheet says he had at least 100 receptions every season of his career.

JG: Yes.

PK: Even in 1995 when he only played 3 games for the Philadelphia Eagles?

JG: That Art Monk was truly a great player. Hall of Fame caliber, some would say.

PK: So if this is true, that means that Monk really had over 1,600 career receptions?

JG: Yes.

PK: That's more than-

JG: Jerry Rice. I know.

PK: Wow. I had no idea.

JG: Not many people do. It's a good thing you decided to come to talk me, otherwise you would never have known about the 700 career receptions that Art isn't getting credit for.

PK: Thanks a bunch, Coach. Now I definitely know how to vote.

(Exit Peter King. End Scene.)


Post a Comment

<< Home