Gilbert Arenas's Latest Grudge

Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas has pledged to drop seventy-five points on seventy-five-year-old woman, Gertrude Sloan, who took the last Zebra Cake at his neighborhood convenience store. After watching Sloan pick out and pay for the last snack cake, Arenas immediately went about setting up a game where he would have the opportunity to make good on his pledge.

"I have never felt so disrespected in my entire life," Arenas stated after the incident occurred. "As soon as me and my boys walked into the store, I was talking loudly about how much I had been looking forward to eating a Zebra Cake, loud enough for everyone else in the store heard me. Then this old bird comes out of nowhere and snatches the last one. I couldn't even believe it. All my life I've been disrespected, but this one event really takes the cake."

Sloan stated that she has never played basketball in her entire life so she is unaware of what exactly Arenas would prove or gain by demolishing her on the basketball court, but Arenas is not allowing that small fact to take away the pleasure he has acquired from his newfound grudge against her.

"I don't care if she's never played basketball before," Arenas said. "This isn't about that; it's about teaching her a lesson. When she looks up at the scoreboard and sees the number seventy-five beside my name, she'll know what happens to people who do something Gilbert doesn't appreciate. They get embarrassed when I succeed in fulfilling my threat or I get embarrassed when I fall short. Either way, I'm always going to demand respect."

Arenas admits he will have a difficult time finding an open date to punish Sloan for her behavior since he is already scheduled to light up all the teams that didn't draft him, embarrass the teams of the USA men's basketball coaches' who cut him, and to drop fifty points on a sixteen-year-old who cut him off when he was trying to switch lanes.