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Just The Sports: Woman Names Child Dtjauughnn, Pronounced John

Just The Sports

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Woman Names Child Dtjauughnn, Pronounced John

Storrs, Connecticut woman Alize Jenkins recently gave birth to a health baby boy weighing 7lbs. 6 oz. at 1:23 a.m. at Natchaug Hospital. The birth of the boy was rather ordinary. However, the name Alize Jenkins decided to give him was anything but.

Ellen Sanderson, a nurse in the maternity ward or Natchaug Hospital, was the first to hear the unique spelling given to the very common first name. "Well, when I first heard her say the name," Nurse Sanderson stated, "I thought to myself, oh that's a nice, strong name. Then she started spelling it. After she finished, my immediate thought was that she was a fucking dumbass. Then I thought she must be illiterate. Then I thought how sad it was that the public school system has failed us so badly."

Alize Jenkins, however, sees nothing wrong with the spelling of her new son's name. "Anyone who can read knows that Dtjauughnn should be said the same way as John," Alize said. "Just some letters are silent and some aren't. I don't see what the big deal is. It will be pretty apparent to anyone who can read."

One of the three possible fathers of Dtjauughnn Michael Jenkins is twenty-four year old Jerome Williams. Jermo claims to be able to read and still does not know how to pronounce his possible son's name. "Even if he is my son," Jerome stated, "I still won't claim him. Not with a stupid name like that."

When Alize received word of Jerome's comments, she responded that she knew Jerome was the father, that she hadn't been with anybody but him, and that the paternity test would prove he was the father.


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