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Just The Sports: A Letter To Tiger Woods

Just The Sports

Saturday, May 27, 2006

A Letter To Tiger Woods

Dear Tiger,

Please stop using your father's death as an excuse for why you are not playing golf. I know, I know. Your publicist told you to say these things and made you do that ridiculous 60 Minutes interview in an attempt to make you seem human. I get that. I also get that you are taking advantage of media outlets who report anything that comes off news wires dutifully and robotically, without taking a few seconds to actually see if the information is accurate. More power to you on that one. I would probably go the same route if I had plans on making myself more marketable to those whose Pavlovian response to hearing your name is to think robot.

However, is it so wrong to give the true reason for why you're not playing in the Memorial Tournament? Just admit that you are becoming bored with golf, that all the media-created rivalries between you and the it player of the week are becoming tiresome because you know in your heart that you are a hundred times better than anyone else, that you have a beautiful wife to go home to and are no longer interested in playing in the lesser tournaments, or even that you are just tired of answering questions from the sports media. Don't be ashamed of the truth, Tiger. It will set you free.

Oh, and another word of advice. If you are going to release a statement as to why you are not going to be playing in a tournament and it relates to the grief you are experiencing as a result of your father's death, then it is probably best that you not be caught on camera celebrating Derek Jeter's 2,000th career hit at Yankee Stadium. Or when you claim to be taking time off from golf to spend it with your ailing father, do not then be seen conquering New Zealand's highest bungee jump or winning a celebrity stock care race. Just don't do those things if you want your statements to be believed, that's all.




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