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Just The Sports: Stuart Scott Chat

Just The Sports

Friday, May 12, 2006

Stuart Scott Chat

For most, Christmas comes once a year. For others, there is finding out that Stuart Scott will be hosting a chat for Due to self-imposed laziness, I will not be giving you a line-by line replay of what Scott said, but I will be providing you with a sampling of his answers to give you some idea of what happens when Scott sits down in front of a keyboard and tries to answer sports questions.

Stuart Scott: Stop smoking....Shaq still best big man in game by far. Why time to hang it up? He's the best passing big man in game by far too..

Stuart Scott: I believe the unwritten codes exist for a reason...I believe in pitcher protecting plate and pitcher deciding when he should brush someone back. The media has no business suggesting a brush was way out of line...I don't want either Papi or Randy telling me how to do hilights....

Stuart Scott: Why think I'm in bad mood? And no, my bed is very comfortable.....

Stuart, I understand this is a chat and you are probably typing really fast to get through your answers to stupid questions and proofreading is not a priority and you probably don't want to do the chats at all (as evidenced by your snarky responses) and ESPN is making you do them anyway because they somehow finagled this requirement into your contract which you probably could not read, but wow, what you typed is barely English at all. It's almost as if a caveman wrote it. A caveman who hates verbs, pronouns, and articles.

I have long had suspicions about Stuart Scott, and reading through this chat transcript has confirmed every one of them. The man is functionally illiterate.


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