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Just The Sports: Oh Bill Simmons, Why Do You Do It?

Just The Sports

Monday, March 20, 2006

Oh Bill Simmons, Why Do You Do It?

One day I will quit reading Bill Simmons' articles, but until that day comes I will just make fun of them. For all you writers out there, when making an argument, it is best to state the point of your argument and then provide evidence to back up your argument. What is to be avoided is to make an argument and then provide evidence that contradicts your argument. Doing this makes you appear stupid. Unfortunately, Bill Simmons never learned that lesson and so he comes off as stupid.

In his latest article, Simmons lists the NBA teams with the best shot of winning a title in reverse order. Like most of his articles, this one is short on actual numbers and long on idiocy. However, I will focus on just a couple of his statements becausetaking things out of context always makes them funnier.

3. San Antonio
What's to like: The Spurs are the champs. And they OWN Phoenix.

What's not to like: In order ...

A) I watched Duncan heroically limping around against the Clips two weeks ago -- it's much more damaging to see in person, when you can pick up the little grimaces and self-conscious glances toward his bum foot. He's just not the same guy. The incredible thing is that Duncan can still control the game on one leg, and when they truly need him and his adrenaline starts going, he can have little spurts when it seems like he's fine. But the injury kills him defensively (he doesn't have the same lateral movement) and robs him of his lift for putbacks. I would guess that he's playing at around 70 percent. And considering that they barely won the title last season, that's not cutting it.

This paragraph seems reasonable enough. If he would only not contradict himself and do something like say Tim Duncan is still going to help the Spurs win a championship, I could finish the article without being confused in the slightest. If only.

Mitigating factor: Did I mention that Tim Duncan is on this team?

Yes, you did mention that right long with saying how you think he's at 70 percent, he can't play defense, and you don't think that will cut it for the Spurs winning another title. So I'm a little perplexed here. Are you saying all those points you made were actually meant to convince the reader that Duncan's injury will help the Spurs? Or hurt them? I thought I knew, but now I don't. And that, friend, is how not to make an argument.


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