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Just The Sports: Here's Peter

Just The Sports

Monday, May 15, 2006

Here's Peter

After a two-week hiatus from making insanely idiotic statements, Peter King is back in rare form.

1. I think this is why Carl Banks is becoming a very good radio analyst and why Sirius' NFL Radio channel is lucky to have him. We were talking the other day about how Bill Parcells is rebuilding the Dallas front seven in the image of the old Giants. We got done with that and I asked him what he thought of the LaVar Arrington signing. He liked it, sort of. "I like LaVar,'' Banks said, "but, to me, he's about 50 percent of what he should be. He's got to be more productive than he's been.'' Banks said he doesn't know if the Giants will be able to get Arrington's potential out of him.

That is your criteria for determining whether or not a person is going to make a good analyst? The fact Carl Banks sort of likes LaVar Arrington, but thinks he needs to play better? If that is the case, then you will love my analysis of you because I think that you should maybe, sort of throw your computer and tape recorder out of the window because you are maybe, sort one of the worst sports writers in the country.

2. I think Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren has two very good years left in him.

What do you even mean? Mike Holmgren is not a thirty-year-old running back with decreasing speed and a history of injuries. He is a head coach. And head coaches can be unhealthy as they want to be (see Bill Parcells) and still be very effective. So, unless Holmgren is in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease, maybe you should edit what you write before you turn it in. Then you won't sound like a moron.

For the purposes of this post, I will post a claim by Peter King out of context (surprise!) to show how he continually contradicts himself.

c. Not that I know baseball,

Far be it from me to disagree with Peter on this one, but it comes right after he makes this statement...

a. Memo to all the baseball players who voted in the Sports Illustrated poll of players and said Derek Jeter is baseball's most overrated player: You've gotta be kidding.

Actually, Peter, Derek Jeter is overrated, but I really don't feel like showing you all the statistics to support my argument. Just remember this. Being overrated means you are perceived, in this case by sports journalists and fans alike, to have more ability and talent than your production indicates. And when you are making $20.6 million a year, it is hard to be anything but overrated.

And this statement...

b. Albert Pujols is on pace for an 81-homer, 200-RBI season.

Actually, he's on pace for a 89-homer season. Over his first five seasons in the major leagues, Pujols has averaged 591 at-bats. So far into this season, he has hit 19 homers in 126 at-bats. If he stays on that pace, he will hit 89 home runs, not 81. Both numbers are ridiculous because we all know he won't stay on his torrid pace.

e. Heck of a job on the Dakoda Dowd-and-her-cancer-stricken-mom story on Mother's Day on ESPN by Chris Connelly. If you didn't cry watching that, you don't have tear ducts.

What is it with you and thinking tears automatically ensure a great story? I said it before and I will say it again. Getting the person being interviewed to cry or the viewer to cry does not make anyone a good journalist. In fact, the best story is one that is informative and not one that preys on someone's emotions.

f. Tried to watch part of Game 4, Heat-Nets. Failed.

Incorrect. You succeeded in watching part of Game 4, Heat-Nets. You failed in watching all of Game 4, Heat-Nets.

h. I've got some plans in the works for how you can do your part to help New Orleans and the Gulf Coast of Mississippi. Stay tuned. Might be fun.

Here's some help in dealing with the New Orleans situation. Don't rebuild it. It is a city located below sea-level in an area regularly ravaged by hurricanes. You'd have to be foolish to rebuild there.


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