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Just The Sports: Another Peter To Bash

Just The Sports

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Another Peter To Bash

This time it's Peter Vecsey, sports writer for the New York Post. The headline of the article, which he may not even have written is, How To Fix the Knicks. With such a bold title as this one, I had to read more.

WHEN I'm not being accused by first grade readers of being excessively negative about the 19-51 Knicks - who would have a hard time against the dead or alive 1951 Knicks - and charged with having something personal against Isiah Thomas, Larry Brown and Stephon Marbury, I'm dared to holster my harpoon and my dirty red bandana, and formulate a solution to the team's problems instead of harping on them.

Okay. Apparently, you are twelve years old and can't resist when someone dares you to do something.

Though inclined to take the easy way out by setting up a tent around the Garden and calling it a circus, I accept their challenge.

You're not funny, Peter, so please stop trying to be.

So you're going to come up with a solution to the team's problems, are you? By solution, you mean where you actually come up with viable options that will improve the team instead of vague generalities that help no one? I can't wait to hear them.

The first order of business is for James Dolan to hire a confirmed planner, a person experienced at erecting franchises pre-foundation and/or rebuilding them by creating something out of perishables or nothing tangible to the unskilled eye.

Who will this planner be, though, who will possess such great GM skills?

Dolan's superior choices are five in number - Jerry Colangelo, Jerry West, Donnie Walsh, Geoff Petrie and ex-Knick Kiki Vandeweghe whose father, Ernie, played for the above-mentioned '51 outfit. Kiki, of course, transformed the Nuggets from layoffs to payoffs in less than two seasons and is a rising free agent. The other four have repeated success stories to their credit. Despite a year (both Jerrys, for sure) or two on their contracts I cannot envision their respective bosses impeding any such switch. Who knows, Suns owner Robert Sarver may even encourage Colangelo to follow his son's footsteps out of Phoenix.

Let me get this straight. You proposed five names to help right the Knicks' ship and four of them you don't even think will be able to become the Knicks' General Manager because of contractual obligations? What was the point of even mentioning them?

Also, the second sentence in the second paragraph does not flow with the first one, but I'm sure you can't be bothered by such a triviality as that. Why, you're too busy solving the Knicks' problems.

Dolan cannot take a chance of permitting Thomas' mismanagement team to correct their endless mistakes. He cannot afford to put the undeviating frown of Brown - who clearly has given up on getting anything constructive out of his players, whom, in turn, have tuned out their coach - back on the bench and in front of the cameras at post-game press conferences.

Peter, the whole point of your article was to not harp on the problems of the Knicks. You even said it in your first paragraph that instead of harping, you would provide solutions. As of yet, you have only provided one viable solution (Kiki Vandeweghe) and you haven't really suggested what he should do with the current Knicks roster. You are really failing this challenge you so quickly accepted.

Dolan cannot allow the contagious Steph Infection to infect his teammates another moment.

How should he stop Steph from infecting his teammates?

He cannot take the risk of repeating the repulsiveness we're witnessing on a regular basis, so much so the fans are almost too bored to boo.

How can he do this? These still aren't solutions.

But these are...kind of...well not really...

Someone unafraid to hold people immediately accountable, who won't flinch about serving up heads on platters; hey, it worked for the Romans, it works for me.

Someone who can make a difference.

Someone who has made a difference.

There are more, but I'm just going to stop there and follow Peter's example of how to come up with solutions and I will solve some of the world's most pressing problems.

To rid the world of AIDS, we need someone to find a cure for AIDS.

To end racism, we need someone who can convince people not to be racist.

To eliminate wars, we need someone to stop world leaders from going to war.

To eliminate idiocy among sports writers, we need someone to fire all the idiot sports writers in the world.


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