I Hate Jay Mohr
Was the NBA All-Star Game on this year? I must have missed it.
Jay, you knew the game was on. The NBA All-star Game comes on every year. I know you're trying to be funny, but you're off to a very bad start. However, I'm sure you will recover and turn this into a hilarious article. I can't wait to see where you go from this intro. It can only be up.
For years the NBA All-Star Game has been completely irrelevant.
Not too irrelevant for you to write about though, was it?
For too long the stars have embraced an all-offense and no-defense approach, and this is one of the many reasons it has become unwatchable.
It is an All-Star Game. What do you expect? The whole point of an All-Star Game is to entertain the crowd and you entertain the crowd with alley-oop dunks, not with rotating help defense. This isn't Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Defense? Come on, Jay. At least pretend like you understand what the All-Star Game is about.
The "events" that lead up to the game stink too. The slam dunk contest is a perennial snore. Even when it is won by New York Knicks rookie Nate Robinson , who at 5-foot-9 is barely tall enough to ride the log flume at your local amusement park.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. A short joke. Hilarious, Jay. You're killing me. No really, stop. I can't breathe. No wonder you got so much air time with Saturday Night Live. Oh wait.
Apparently there was some controversy in giving the dunk trophy to Lil' Nate. Not because he can fit inside it, but because he didn't deserve it.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Another short joke. Because one was obviously not enough. Was it, Jay?
What a thrill this must have been to the fans who slapped down hundreds of dollars of hard-earned money to watch Kevin Garnett shoot 1-for-9 and the West and East shoot (with no defense) a whopping 46 and 50 percent, respectively. Where else but in a completely insignificant game can a fan watch Shaquille O'Neal only miss two free throws? On TNT, that's where! Only on TNT, shortly after the third showing of Joe Dirt, could a true fan watch men run around in uniforms that looked like something a Latvian immigrant would wear to Sky Bar. Did you get a load of those uniforms? I thought David Stern instituted a dress code this year. It's funny to think that to sit on the bench you must be dressed "business casual," but to play in the All-Star Game you could look like a clown climbing out of a tiny car.
You know, this sounds surprisingly detailed for someone who claims to have missed the All-Star Game because he didn't know it was on. Oh, and by the way, a team shooting 50 percent from the field is pretty damn good. For anyone who was wondering, the Detroit Pistons, who at 43-9, have the best record in the NBA are shooting 50 percent from the field.